


Spoken Thought

by icy23317417



Category: Voltron - Fandom, Voltron: Defender of the Universe, Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Abuse, Depression, Grief, Harm, Self Harm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-22
Updated: 2017-02-28
Packaged: 2018-09-26 06:24:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9871349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/icy23317417/pseuds/icy23317417
Summary: Lance has basically given up in trying to get the rest of the team to notice him. He stopped being playful, stopped being flirtatious, but instead has become more violent. The blue paladins past revealed, a fight with the galra, and the worse aftermath they have ever been left in.





	1. The Beginning of the End

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fan-fiction, if you have anything that could help me improve my writing, grammar, vocabulary, please tell me.  
> I may take a while to update because I'm not the best at keeping track on the time, i'm very sorry, but i'll try my best.

The product created from a simple few movements, or a simple few taps on the shoulder, can change anyones lives. Lucky for Lance it was him.

Voltron had just finished fighting a galra fleet, and landed in the hanger. The experience they had all just received wasn’t one of the most pleasing, not like all the other times were more pleasing.

¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬  
12 hours earlier

“Lance! Can you stop being such a prick about this!” Keith seemed to be over exaggerating, but in all aspects so did Lance.

“Shame, did I hit a soft spot,” Lance hummed. At this point all hell had already broken loose, Keith threw his arms in the air tackling Lance and forcing him on the cold gloomy floor. He moved his hands to Lance’s throat tightening it with every second that past.

Shiro ran from the back of the room pulling Keith off of Lance while stretching his arms around the smaller boys body structure. 

“Will both of you stop it!!!” Shiro nearly broke his voice with how loud he was shouting. 

Hunk wrapping his arms around lance’s waist, just in time. Just before he jumped at Keith like a cat hissing, waving its tail high in the air. While Pidge helped Hunk stunned by the amount of power Lance had, both of them were surprised.

The atmosphere had just sunk making it hard for them to breath. 

“Apologise.” Shiro exclaimed while the tension kept on rising.

“Why,” Lance looked at Shiro with confusion settling in on his face, “Why only me, why do I have to be the only one to apologise!”

“Because you started it,” Keith now joined in the conversation. 

Shiro face palmed himself, he couldn’t take this any more. “Lance stop acting selfish!” Keith grinned at what was being said, “And Keith I’ll talk to you later.” Keith’s grin disappeared and now all you could see was the same emo looking expression on his face. Both Allura and Coran seemed to agree with the terms Shiro had stated.

Lance couldn’t believe what had just happened, they had just placed all the blame upon his shoulders. How could Shiro be the leader if he didn’t even listen to Lance explanation but decided to listen Keith. How could Hunk, his best friend, just stand there as this was happening. How could Allura and Coran agree with what Shiro said. As usual Pidge just stood their not paying any attention to Lance but deciding to give Keith a chance, how unfair. The worst of all was Keith standing there with a smug look on his face like he, alone, had saved the whole universe.   
How dare he,  
How dare her,  
How dare they.  
Yet again they cast Lance off, he couldn’t take it anymore, it was affecting his sleep and affecting his teamwork abilities. But it wasn’t his fault, it couldn’t be.


	2. Perfection and beauty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I increased the number of words in this chapter, yikes, my hands are sore and uncomfortable. Thank you very much for the wait.

perfect - definition   
adjective  
ˈpəːfɪkt/  
having all the required or desirable elements, qualities, or characteristics; as good as it is possible to be.

Lance noticed he was abnormal, at a young age. His older sister had died due to serious illness. He loved her, he always spent time with her, smiling, laughing, sharing secrets no one would ever hear. At her funeral everyone was in tears, his mother was on the ground not being able to support herself. His father stood there, still, holding his hand high to his chest, clenching it while tears flowed down his cheeks like a river implanted on a high cliff. His other siblings were a blur but all he could hear was there wailing, pleading…...they were all so miserable.

Lance couldn’t understand let alone feel what they were feeling. He stood there staring at the coffin, his mother told him to say a few words. She probably thought he would stand there, crying, while saying such magical and wondrous words. She thought he would tell them about the times they spent together, the times they giggled, played pranks, or even the way they made everyone fall into fits of laughter.

He opened his mouth slightly, looking back and forth from his family to the coffin.   
“Rosa's dead.” A blank expression place on his face, his eyes frozen with an expression which mad all feel inferior.  
“She’s dead and that's it,” all his siblings and his parents looked at him with a confused expression.  
“Her body is going to rot in the ground.” No change in pitch, no change in tone, no sign of remorse. He just stood there with no expression, just there. 

“Lance, what are-” He heard his father articulate loudly. Everything suddenly went dark and black, he lifted his head upwards of the bed. 

He turned his body, sitting half on and half off the bed. He has dreamt over that same day every night but it always seemed to cut off at that one specific part.

 

His fellow paladins they weren’t happy.

They were angry.

 

He understood that when he made people feel angry they would always end up abusing, and hurting him physically. Even if he couldn’t understand and feel the emotions everyone else did, he could feel physical pain. It felt comfortable when he could feel someone nudge, or pat his head because he pleased them. 

It took him a while to distinguish the two, but once he did it all became easier. Learning how to tell the difference between one's expressions, emotions, and even their movement. They way something felt against his body or skin.

He sat there staring at the wall in front of him, he was terrible, he had blamed them for his mistakes. Of course he didn’t understand wrong or right, he had to still learn to this. 

He stood up, moving closer towards the wall. He stood there staring at the wall, he started banging his head against the wall until a cut had formed as blood started dripping onto the floor beneath him.

To make it easier, if they wanted to punish him, he had already punished himself. Every time he made them feel furious, grief, or any other negative emotion he would punish himself to make it easier, not just for himself but for them too.

¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬

Everyone was left there stunned as Lance had just stomped off. 

“That nerve!” Allura seemed to blurt out, she turned her head heading back to the table finish eating the food provided.

“Sometimes I just don’t get Lance.” Pidge walked back to the kitchen with Hunk following at her side.

“Don’t blame him, he just.. you know….. gets angry sometimes.” Hunk proposed, left with a long silent. “Like Keith,” Hunk added on pointing towards where Keith had settled down.

Keith seemed to jump up, off his seat and loudly vocalize, “I’m nothing like that bastard!”

“Keith!” All heads turned towards Shiro, he sighed. “We need to have a talk.”

Everyone else seemed to drift away as Keith moved closer towards Shiro. Keith knew what was going to happen, Shiro was going to tell him to explain to him what had happened, talk to him in an innocent way which always makes him calm down, then he would be told to go to Lance and they would both apologize to one another.

“So tell me how did this start?” Shiro questioned him, he knew exactly where this was going.  
“It was when we were stuck, together, on the waste land of a planet.” Shiro seemed quite confused at the statement. “You know, when you nearly died.” keith said, hoping he hadn’t hurt or made Shiro relive any traumatic moments.

“And?” Shiro asked nudging his shoulder.

“Well, i decided to tell the team that if you were to… you.. know.” Shiro looked at him wide eyed, but slowly it reverted back to his normal expression. 

“So this is what it’s about,” he seemed to think out loud.

Keith looked at him with a frantic expression plastered on his face. “Lance wouldn’t believe me, and he said even if that is true why would Shiro pick you. You have too many issues that could get in the way of our mission.” Keith tried hiding his face with the back of his hand, not revealing his pathetic emotions towards Shiro.

“It’s ok.” Shiro’s hand brushed against Keith’s back, “I’ll explain it to Lance, and make him apologize.” He gave him a reassuring smile, “but what you did wasn’t any better.” He moved his hand from Keith’s back to the front of Keith, pulling Keith’s hand away from his face. “We are the paladins of voltron, a team, if one of us is troubled the whole team is affected.” He stood up, now standing above Keith, he put his hand outward waiting for Keith to follow his motion. “If one us is troubled, the rest of us will help.” Keith took his hand causing his to be lifted from his seat.

“We’ll have a team meeting and discuss this all together.” Shiro exclaimed with a huge grin plastered across his face.

“Ok,” Keith always seemed to be at peace whenever Shiro was there.

¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬

Lance lay there across the bed, he had cleaned himself up in his personally bathroom, he couldn't cause them and problems. He had to make them all feel positive emotions. He couldn’t disappoint them.

 

 

He had to be perfect.


End file.
